You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
