I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
