sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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