awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
