THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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