She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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