He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
