PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
