On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
