She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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