Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
