Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
worst night to have a conscience
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
