life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
