He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize