So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Who died my cat blue again?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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