I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
