Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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