Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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