Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
