Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My feet surprised me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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