why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
love makes seman taste better
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
