Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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