it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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