i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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