3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
