We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
