Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
