Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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