at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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