So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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