I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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