his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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