Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
