Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
