Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize