My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
