I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
