Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
