Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
