he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
