why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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