How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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