Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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