wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
