Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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