so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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