it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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