So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
