Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
