I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
