I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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