Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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