you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
