I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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