me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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