just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
