fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
