if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
