no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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