Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i now understand why vodka
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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