the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You need Xanax blowdarts
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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