sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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