The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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