a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
