butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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