just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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