1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it hurts more in the daytime
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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