I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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