No, you can still breathe under the balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
