he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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